To the Relative Who Doesn't Understand
by RevaBeth L. Russell
(my awesome neighbor)
When I was young I played with dolls and imagined.
Other interests replaced the dolls
But I would remember.
Marriage,
And as a couple we made plans
But we were to wait and wait
And wait.
After time
I kenw that I would never be a birth mother.
Well-meaning people had their suggestions.
Silent crying
We smiled and nodded.
A nine-month pregnancy couldn't seem as long as my
two-year adoption pregnancy,
A doctor checking your weight, blood pressure
must be easier
Then the official lady
Checking
On your fitness
For parenthood.
No stranger questions a birth mother about her money,
marriage, home, and childhood.
No letters of reference are sought as to her character.
Well-meaning people discussed adoption,
Telling of "so-and-so" and "it only took them two months."
We smiled and nodded.
Listening to the heartbeat
Feeling the strength of a kick
The final minutes of labor
Sitting carfully on stitches
Could not bring more pain than
"It will be eight months to a year
Before we can process your papers."
Well-meaning people inquired how many children we had
Telling fo the joys we were missing.
We smiled and nodded.
When your boy was placed in our arms
And as a couple you realized this child was yours, forever,
Did you ever think that even when our child is placed in our arms
We would still haave to wait
For the adjustment period to be over
For the judge to say he was ours
Legally.
Well-meaning people say,
"Oh, you had your baby the easy way."
We smile and nod politely.
I want you to acknowledge that this child is mine.
I have cried the same tears as you.
I have said the same prayers as you.
Your child was born from under your hears,
And close to your heart you fed him.
My child was born from within my heart,
And close to my heart he was fed.
Now I plead that you will accept him and his differences.
He may not look like us
As would one carrying our genes,
But he is ours:
Carrying our training, care, and love. I watch him now at play...imagining...
And these words never rang more true:
"For unto us a child is born,
And unto us a son is given."
