If My Head Wasn't Tied On!

I completely forgot the entire point to my previous G,B & U post.
Having gone to get a pedicure and get my severely neglected nails done, Sarah and another girl were giggling under the dryer while I was still a work in progress. By the time I got over there we were all distracted by a 60-ish party goer with an enormous chignon and jingle bell earrings. She was in for a last-minute pedicure before her fiesta. Then more giggles erupted from our dryer buddy and when Sarah and I turned we saw that she was decked out in a strapless cocktail dress a couple sizes too small. "Good for her," we all agreed although we all silently hoped that our confidence will never over-reach our good sense.
"You haven't even seen the best part," I was told. So our new friend told me to inconspicuously turn to my right. There I saw...


A hairy mole.

Only the one I saw was attached to a man's face. And the length of it's hair was much greater. I don't know if moles are sacred in his culture, if it was malignant and therefore dangerous to go near with a razor, maybe if I'd looked closer I could have seen the Virgin Mary in the curl of the hair. But for whatever reason, this well-groomed Asian man had a mole on his cheek with its mane growing to his chin. Maybe it's what he uses to keep his head tied on. Maybe I need one too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!

As of today, we have a 7 year old, a 6 year old, a 5 YEAR OLD, and a 1 year old.

Georgia says:

"You're a stinky butt."

She won't tell me anything else to write in this post. The important thing for you to note is that she whispered it to me as a secret, as she has two volumes, "secret" whisper, and SCREAM!!!

She will maul any animal within sight no matter how bad her skin breaks out or how far her eyes swell shut.

We are having breakfast for dinner tonight per her request.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good:

My mom begged me to let her keep my kids last weekend as their Christmas present! Guess what I said?!

Went to beloved Seattle (or thereabouts this time)

As usual, the trip is all about the company and the food. Saw the twins (still baking), while Sarah and I made ourselves scarce from the ranch and the other chittlins and Angelo and got some OH SO GOOD...

for dinner Friday.

Sushi and terriyaki for lunch on Saturday with a little

sprinkled in.

Aztec chocolate was my favorite. It bites back with some pepper thrown in. They know the perfect ratio so as to make you feel the heat without tasting the pepper. AMAZING!

And for dinner we were serenaded by a mature Indian man's song 'Ode to Grandchildren' (which reminded me of my smitten parents), before he served us some Aloo Gobi and Goa Chicken for take out.

I slept in Emmeline's bed which she assured me did not smell.

The Carvajal's home is WONDERFUL! They'd love to see you in it. Especially if you like babies. Especially in March.

The Bad:
All good things must come to an end. The trip and the donuts.

Thought my camera was broken. Angelo assured me that Seattle weather does that to all electronics.

I bought Christmas clothes for Isaac and Mae for Sunday before I realized that Christmas comes before Sunday. LOL!

My poor big Indian volunteered to drive 4 hours round trip to drop me off at Sarah's for a visit while he did some business and attended a round dance in Yakima. (This may very well fit into The GOOD category).

The Ugly:
My kids' faces (except Mae) when I tell them that we're leaving Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Getting the Finger

I shut the bathroom door on this poor chica's finger 2 weeks ago. 4 hours later she'd come out of the funky sedative they give youngins' and had 11 stitches holding it in place. Yet she still has what Jason deems "a weird fatal attraction" to me.

It's ugly. Oh, it's ugly!

$1400 is even uglier. I hope she has the Midas Touch. That's a lot of $20/month payments. If you'd like to contribute:

NMOA

Negligent Mothers of America Fund

or

FPHMOA

Former Potential Hand Models of America

I'll take your pics :)

On a lighter note, she said her first sentences this week...

"Owie stinky" {translated: Diarrhea}

"Owie Coe" {translated: Owie Chloe; Chloe just scratched my foot}

She's so much like Liv whose first sentence was "Owie chair."

It's in the Bag

I am not readily accessorizable. I attribute it to the freckles. The canvas is already too busy with those pigment pocks to carry a chandelier earring or a even a print shirt.

Anyhoo, I must get a new Fossil bag annually to add some color to my life. Here's the newest addition...

Isn't she lovely. She's called Talita. Came with a little bird keychain.

Traditions

Christmas is a time of traditions. We only have Christmas Eve jammies thus far. I'm not one for keeping things up I guess. However, we do have some on-going traditions...

Review of our family traditions:

-When the kids ask a question I always answer, "Your nose."

-"The Chop" Even Mae knows how to give a good chop to the neck whenever there's an opening.

-Whenever my in-laws are around I hurt or neglect to stop an injury to a child (of mine). Here's to hoping that won't live on.

-Driving through Heber City, Jason and Isaac stop to get fried gizzards at the gas station on the end of town.

-Cherry Coke and Coke w/ a squeeze of lime refills. I won't tell you how often. If you really cared you'd have gotten me some by now.

Home for the Holidays

Got enough vintage bulbs at DI to add to my wreath this year. They're on the chandi too, but I'm too lazy to go take a picture of it, so you'll just have to imagine it in that pretty little brain of yours.

This is our pre-makeover elf also courtesy of DI. He's already looking kind of metrosexual, so I may add some buffalo plaid or Timberlands to square him up. Or maybe this is Dorothy Hammel?

And the after Christmas sale at Walmart produced this tree in the back of our storage closet. I'd forgotten about it. The elephant child (Liv) just knew we had a white tree, even after I told her we didn't.

Oh Holy Christmas Songs

I'm usually not listening to Christmas music until December 25th at noon. However, this year I've been in the Christmas spirit since mid November. Thankfully, our materialistic society supplies ample Christmas coverage beginning in October, so I can tune to 100.3 or 106.5 on the Easy-listening dial and have all of my needs met.

By leaps and bounds my favorite is "Oh Holy Night", especially the Josh Groban version because I can sing in whatever octaves he's singing in at high decibals. However, there are a few Christmas songs that I could do without.

First of all, who invited a drumming child to the birth of a baby? I'll bet my life that Mary gave at the very least a stern look to those kings. You know how in other countries animals say different things than they do in the states? For example in Lithuanian a cow says "wuuahh" instead of "moo". I wonder what english speaker made, "per um puh pum pum" the sound of a drum? Must have been ESL.

WATCH OUT! "Logs on the fire fill me with desire..."?? I had to watch the Karen Carpenter story at South Cache Junior High at least 7 times. As if I'd miss a meal? Anywho, that's gross. That's not the Christmas spirit I was going for. I guess in the 70's that was the vibe. I bet there was many a child born September-October, 1971 thanks to those logs.

Finally, it boggles my mind that "Last Christmas" by George Michael is such an enormous hit with retailers. I don't even recall hearing a different celebratory song on Black Friday and I was in Game Stop for two hours standing in line while one of two clerks tested a Wii trade-in.