If My Head Wasn't Tied On!

I completely forgot the entire point to my previous G,B & U post.
Having gone to get a pedicure and get my severely neglected nails done, Sarah and another girl were giggling under the dryer while I was still a work in progress. By the time I got over there we were all distracted by a 60-ish party goer with an enormous chignon and jingle bell earrings. She was in for a last-minute pedicure before her fiesta. Then more giggles erupted from our dryer buddy and when Sarah and I turned we saw that she was decked out in a strapless cocktail dress a couple sizes too small. "Good for her," we all agreed although we all silently hoped that our confidence will never over-reach our good sense.
"You haven't even seen the best part," I was told. So our new friend told me to inconspicuously turn to my right. There I saw...


A hairy mole.

Only the one I saw was attached to a man's face. And the length of it's hair was much greater. I don't know if moles are sacred in his culture, if it was malignant and therefore dangerous to go near with a razor, maybe if I'd looked closer I could have seen the Virgin Mary in the curl of the hair. But for whatever reason, this well-groomed Asian man had a mole on his cheek with its mane growing to his chin. Maybe it's what he uses to keep his head tied on. Maybe I need one too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!

As of today, we have a 7 year old, a 6 year old, a 5 YEAR OLD, and a 1 year old.

Georgia says:

"You're a stinky butt."

She won't tell me anything else to write in this post. The important thing for you to note is that she whispered it to me as a secret, as she has two volumes, "secret" whisper, and SCREAM!!!

She will maul any animal within sight no matter how bad her skin breaks out or how far her eyes swell shut.

We are having breakfast for dinner tonight per her request.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good:

My mom begged me to let her keep my kids last weekend as their Christmas present! Guess what I said?!

Went to beloved Seattle (or thereabouts this time)

As usual, the trip is all about the company and the food. Saw the twins (still baking), while Sarah and I made ourselves scarce from the ranch and the other chittlins and Angelo and got some OH SO GOOD...

for dinner Friday.

Sushi and terriyaki for lunch on Saturday with a little

sprinkled in.

Aztec chocolate was my favorite. It bites back with some pepper thrown in. They know the perfect ratio so as to make you feel the heat without tasting the pepper. AMAZING!

And for dinner we were serenaded by a mature Indian man's song 'Ode to Grandchildren' (which reminded me of my smitten parents), before he served us some Aloo Gobi and Goa Chicken for take out.

I slept in Emmeline's bed which she assured me did not smell.

The Carvajal's home is WONDERFUL! They'd love to see you in it. Especially if you like babies. Especially in March.

The Bad:
All good things must come to an end. The trip and the donuts.

Thought my camera was broken. Angelo assured me that Seattle weather does that to all electronics.

I bought Christmas clothes for Isaac and Mae for Sunday before I realized that Christmas comes before Sunday. LOL!

My poor big Indian volunteered to drive 4 hours round trip to drop me off at Sarah's for a visit while he did some business and attended a round dance in Yakima. (This may very well fit into The GOOD category).

The Ugly:
My kids' faces (except Mae) when I tell them that we're leaving Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Getting the Finger

I shut the bathroom door on this poor chica's finger 2 weeks ago. 4 hours later she'd come out of the funky sedative they give youngins' and had 11 stitches holding it in place. Yet she still has what Jason deems "a weird fatal attraction" to me.

It's ugly. Oh, it's ugly!

$1400 is even uglier. I hope she has the Midas Touch. That's a lot of $20/month payments. If you'd like to contribute:

NMOA

Negligent Mothers of America Fund

or

FPHMOA

Former Potential Hand Models of America

I'll take your pics :)

On a lighter note, she said her first sentences this week...

"Owie stinky" {translated: Diarrhea}

"Owie Coe" {translated: Owie Chloe; Chloe just scratched my foot}

She's so much like Liv whose first sentence was "Owie chair."

It's in the Bag

I am not readily accessorizable. I attribute it to the freckles. The canvas is already too busy with those pigment pocks to carry a chandelier earring or a even a print shirt.

Anyhoo, I must get a new Fossil bag annually to add some color to my life. Here's the newest addition...

Isn't she lovely. She's called Talita. Came with a little bird keychain.

Traditions

Christmas is a time of traditions. We only have Christmas Eve jammies thus far. I'm not one for keeping things up I guess. However, we do have some on-going traditions...

Review of our family traditions:

-When the kids ask a question I always answer, "Your nose."

-"The Chop" Even Mae knows how to give a good chop to the neck whenever there's an opening.

-Whenever my in-laws are around I hurt or neglect to stop an injury to a child (of mine). Here's to hoping that won't live on.

-Driving through Heber City, Jason and Isaac stop to get fried gizzards at the gas station on the end of town.

-Cherry Coke and Coke w/ a squeeze of lime refills. I won't tell you how often. If you really cared you'd have gotten me some by now.

Home for the Holidays

Got enough vintage bulbs at DI to add to my wreath this year. They're on the chandi too, but I'm too lazy to go take a picture of it, so you'll just have to imagine it in that pretty little brain of yours.

This is our pre-makeover elf also courtesy of DI. He's already looking kind of metrosexual, so I may add some buffalo plaid or Timberlands to square him up. Or maybe this is Dorothy Hammel?

And the after Christmas sale at Walmart produced this tree in the back of our storage closet. I'd forgotten about it. The elephant child (Liv) just knew we had a white tree, even after I told her we didn't.

Oh Holy Christmas Songs

I'm usually not listening to Christmas music until December 25th at noon. However, this year I've been in the Christmas spirit since mid November. Thankfully, our materialistic society supplies ample Christmas coverage beginning in October, so I can tune to 100.3 or 106.5 on the Easy-listening dial and have all of my needs met.

By leaps and bounds my favorite is "Oh Holy Night", especially the Josh Groban version because I can sing in whatever octaves he's singing in at high decibals. However, there are a few Christmas songs that I could do without.

First of all, who invited a drumming child to the birth of a baby? I'll bet my life that Mary gave at the very least a stern look to those kings. You know how in other countries animals say different things than they do in the states? For example in Lithuanian a cow says "wuuahh" instead of "moo". I wonder what english speaker made, "per um puh pum pum" the sound of a drum? Must have been ESL.

WATCH OUT! "Logs on the fire fill me with desire..."?? I had to watch the Karen Carpenter story at South Cache Junior High at least 7 times. As if I'd miss a meal? Anywho, that's gross. That's not the Christmas spirit I was going for. I guess in the 70's that was the vibe. I bet there was many a child born September-October, 1971 thanks to those logs.

Finally, it boggles my mind that "Last Christmas" by George Michael is such an enormous hit with retailers. I don't even recall hearing a different celebratory song on Black Friday and I was in Game Stop for two hours standing in line while one of two clerks tested a Wii trade-in.

Blessed #8

My husband and his fam are off to the traditional Fort Duschene Thanksgiving Powwow and also, as tradition would have it, they are not expecting me to attend. I am off to shop. I was lucky enough to book enough sittings to save Black Friday money. I may leave at 2:30 so I can be at Old Navy when it opens. It's all up in the air. Tomorrow is the only day of the year that I am nothing but materialistic.

My tummy's materialistic too. We're going to eat iguana meat at Beto's for breakfast (Diane said she'd never been there a few years back for this reason. Of course they'd serve iguana meat. It's much more economical than beef, pork or chicken). We immediately made that another of our holiday traditions.

On the list:
-scooters (since Toys R Us solved the problem of me having all of the scooters I need by misplacing 1/2 of my order)
-2 Pre-owned Nintendo DS Lites
-whatever else tickles my fancy and fits into the budget

If you're going too, what are you doing reading this? GET OUT THERE AND SHOP! If you're not, don't judge.

Blessed #7 (Lucky)

Le Menu

(Because anything French is Fancy)

Roast Turkey with Rosemary and Sage Butter

Citrus and Brown Sugar Glazed Ham

Creamed Potatoes

Corn Bread and Herb Stuffing with Gizzards and Egg (I know, super fancy)

Sweet Potatoe Casserole with Candied Pecan Streusal

Collard Greens With Bacon

Mixed Greens with Strawberries and Herb Garlic Brie (just for moi)

Fried Cornbread

Desserts

Banana Pudding

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Happy Thanksgiving!

The big Indian and I are in full Thanksgiving-prep mode. He has yet to clean off his desk and we have to gut the living room to serve dinner because in the 1940's everyone was a midget and therefore dining rooms needed to be no bigger than 6x8.

I've painted the window frame in our bedroom and the wall behind our bed where I spackled around the too big holes for the sconces many moons ago. I'm making new bedroom curtains and pillows tonite. Very important for hosting Thanksgiving dinner. I also painted the baseboards in the hallway downstairs because they attract grime impervious to cleaning solution and Thanksgiving partygoers would lose their appetites if they travelled their before dinner.

Nevermind that the people coming for dinner are here at least twice weekly and hold handrum practice in our bedroom.

Blessed #6

I had another post up because I thought I ought to post something this week.

It was really stupid (that's a bad word at our house so don't tell my kids I posted it).

I needed to be reminded of how great my friends are and how blessed I am that I've had so many close friends. It was pretty silly.

I am in sort of funk ever since some folks on Facebook blacked out their names on me.

They were mad that I didn't agree politically. One put "Oh good grief" as a comment and just like that, we were estranged.

Then the other one followed and she wasn't even part of our conversation. The first one must have told her friend not to like me.

I don't know these people, which I think makes it worse that they want nothing to do with me.

Then Chloe ran across the street to try to make a new friend while I was blowing leaves and the lady holding the dog that Chloe was so anxious to get to know proceeded to scream louder than the leaf blower and kick the dickens out of her in front of her mom, Olivia.

Liv said, "You know what I wanted to do Mama? I wanted to tell her, 'Do you like me to kick your dog?' and then I'd still kick it."

A friend of mine posted, "likes people. Almost 99% of the time." Yup.

I'm still feeling funky, but today I feel blessed that wasn't on the list of people that a former boss of mine hired some inmates to murder.

And because I am going to see a silly movie at midnight with some people who would never blackout their names on Facebook.

Blessed #5

I am so thankful to be able to hang out at home with the chittlins while Jason is off hunting bacon.

We have a sort of educational system here that we call

Home Schooling.

However, my kids are not homeschoolers as this educational video will point out.

Blessed #4

Happy Veteran's Day!

Thank God today that there are people willing to stand in harm's way to defend our way of life.

Agency and freedom are blessings worth fighting for.

I am so proud of our family who serve/have served...

Major Dan R. Christensen, U.S. Army, Retired

Major C. Colton Christensen, U.S. Air Force

Captain Lisa H. Christensen, U.S. Air Force

Grandpa Dan

Uncle David

Grandpa Henry

Ryan Christensen

Preston Higgs

blessed #3

I don't know who you are or what posessed you to dismiss this incredible fixture, but tonite, to you I am entirely grateful.

Seconds before I left my parents' home my dad casually produced this masterpiece. She's so fabulous I'll have to give her a name.

Franny.

Who gets rid of this stuff?

Are you high?

My dad used to frequent the Logan Deseret Industries when I was growing up. I literally hid under the dash until we were at least 50 feet clear of the driveway. Now I daresay I go more often than he does to thrift stores. At least 85% of my children's clothes and shoes are secondhand. This is my little way of giving back to the environment by recycling. LOL. LOL again, with my mouth really wide open. Really, I'm just both cheap and vain(ish).

Blessed #2

{Please take for granted that these are in no particular order

as my mind is no longer in any particular order

and I'm currently rebelling against my anal retentiveness (and doing a particularly fabulous job),

and therefore will not post anything with any forethought. Also take for granted that my husband is right up there at the top, but I will not post any patronizingly gushy entry re: him. So until he does something silly or incredibly fascinating I cannot write about the big indian.}

Demae Dressing

disregard the crumbs on the shelf. My battle with retentiveness works in all aspects of mother and wifehood.

I'm rather embarrassed that I don't have a photo of my beloved sushi/noodles joint on Center St. in Provo.

But I think they should be even more embarrassed that they have no presence on the web and therefore I couldn't even pirate one.

However, this dressing has my blessing. And more importantly carb and protein loading Liv's.

This girl can eat her weight in salad as long as I've splashed it with Demae Salad Dressing (and the slivers of carrot and cabbage are large enough to remove with fork tines).

Order Udon noodles. They are to DIE for!

Blessed

Every post in November will focus on our blessings.

This a.m. I got a text from Sarah that I must visit a particular url. It brought back the sweetest memories.

To have been given 4 babies.

Our birth stories are different, but oh so special.

Liv: 4 years of marriage, 2.5 years of "trying", 5 months of paper work, 1 last interview, 2 days 'til birth, 2 more 'til "delivery"

8 months later...

Isaac: "come pick up your son!"

18 months later...

Georgia: 2 months of paperwork, 3 weeks of waiting, birthmother phone call, 2 weeks 'til birth, 18 hour drive, Christmas Eve introduction.

3.5 years later...

2 months of paperwork, 3 months of delays, 2 weeks of waiting, 1 phone call during class, 8 hours later in our arms.

It is so exciting and divine much like this...

She does such a wonderful job of capturing the intensity and exhiliration. Grandma's face is the face of all adoptive grandmas, I swear!

All Hallows

Banana chocolate chip pancakes in spooky shapes.

And then a whole lot of getting ready.

Liv

a.k.a Sherlock Holmes

Always wants to be a princess. Last year Jason teased her about wearing make-up and she wanted nothing to do with it this year. When I put my make-up on she said it made her stomach tickle. She hates Ghostbusters and the ghosts on the new Scooby Doo movie.

I kept saying, "LIv! Look at mE!" She'd say, "I am!" and then I remembered her wandering eye, poor dear. When she gets tired or looks at something really close-up her left eye heads west.

Chloe was Watson.

Her "mushstash" kept tickling.

Isaac

Wolfman or the Geico Caveman

Easiest costume ever and he got the most compliments.

He really got into character. Spirit gum is friendly to apply, not so much to remove. We had to wash his face with alcohol.

This kid got so much candy his bag broke!

George

Masquerade Princess

Step 1

"This is the best day of my life!" she said.

Mae

The King

uhh uu uhh!

That's all I have to say.

The Whole Lot of Us

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to new baby Sloan Boone!

Good work Aunt Cissy!

Stupid?

Is Bill Maher correct? Are we all stupid? It seems if we reject "progressive" policy we are labelled by the media as either stupid or hateful. This has been on my mind for some time now and I had to spill my guts about it.

My two favorite people. Michael Moore & Bill Maher

It seems just plain stupid to me the things that most of the country and maybe the world have come to believe that completely oppose common sense. What scares the life out of me is that it doesn't stop with these two idiots, it ventures all the way up to the most influential and powerful people in the world.





1. Something can and should come from nothing. Entitlement.





2. Traditional virtues are as outdated as the Constitution.





First thing's first. If you want something get off your hiney and get it. If you can't (because your getter offer is broken or because you don't have health insurance), ask a loved one to help you get off of it. If you don't have a loved one, either be more lovable, or wait until your hiney heals, (keep the dream alive whilst healing), and you'll be even more motivated than ever to get after the desire of your heart. Rinse and repeat. That's how life works.





One cannot produce a flat screen television by flashing a card to a salesperson and never transferring funds (plus interest), to pay the person who gave you the flashing card. If you've done that you are a thief and you should head straight to the local police station and turn yourself in. Apparently no one has told the governing bodies this principle and they are continuing to spend, and promising to spend money that we do not have in our treasury. Don't be too alarmed however, the rich will be taxed and we'll all be saved. Unless however, the rich get smart and stop working to pay your sorry hiney's way.

Michael Moore and many of the characters in Washington realize how hard our lives are on the outside and therefore are willing to help. Capitalism is just not fair in their educated opinions, so they are willing to legislate ways for everyone to have what they believe we are all entitled to by our God-given civil rights (and they'll even tell us how to use it). It's just too hard for people to lift themselves out of poverty, ignorance, trouble. Forget Andrew Carnegie, Albert Einstien, Abraham Lincoln, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton, Erin Brokovich, and JK Rowling.





The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.- Thomas Jefferson





Which brings us to my second point. Patience is a virtue. As is integrity, courage, prudence, and humility, etc. Remember this quote from Rep. Conyers, “I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill.' What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?” An elected official, a legislator in fact. Here he demonstrates an undeniable lack of patience, integrity, and prudence. He did have the courage to say that on national television. Maybe it helped to humble him. hmph.





Health Insurance is lacking for about 15% of the public. Some of which don't have health insurance by choice. We have seen statistic after unbelievable statistic that proves that our health care system will be worse if we socialize it. We have two incredible examples in Canada and Great Britain.





Rep. Rogers prudently read studies during his opening statement on Health Care Reform that showed that people with common cancers have shorter lives in those countries than those who get treatment here. Trillions and trillions of dollars (remember, borrowing from the $0.00 we have left in the reserve), to shorten our own lives. As I often tell my kids, "That's what ya' get."





Rahm Emanuel, White House Health Care Policy Advisor is a proponent of the "Complete Lives System" anyway, which puts patients on a curve with the greatest resources going to those age 15-40 and the rest, who are a drain on our health care system, would be rationed. That means Grandma and your premature infant are less valuable to society and therefore not worth U.S. health care dollars. Not to worry, a government appointed board would have the power to determine individual patient's value. I guess in terms of spending that's most prudent.





While Pres. Obama rushed to Copenhagen to lobby for the Olympics to be held in Chicago, our courageous troops in Afghanistan waited on word on their General's request for more troops. A Defense Department official stated, "[It] will be shelved until such time that the White House is ready… It is not going to be addressed, or reviewed, or analyzed until the White House is ready to begin discussing it." I suppose the White House expects patience from the troops.





Those with conservative values in our society are ridiculed as hateful or ignorant. How hateful and ignorant are chastity, provident living, and tenacity? Chastity could prevent the heartache of some of the American children who are born without a father that become part of the unbelievable statistics on fatherlessness including suicide, crime, and teenage pregnancy. Provident living could have saved some serious bailout money if people had purchased homes at a price that was affordable given their salary. Tenacity and work could prevent our school systems from offering ridiculous programs like "Handwriting Without Tears" in which the children are taught to write strictly in capital letters because everything else is too hard. Who's ignorant?





How hateful is heartfelt charity. When those with more freely give to those without. Respect for incredible thinkers and doers like Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who deservedly won the Nobel Peace Prize. Is that hateful? Appreciation for the divinely inspired Constitution and the incredible men who brought it to life. Is it hateful to fight for it's preservation?





"The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure Virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure, than they have it now, they may change their Rulers and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty." -John Adams





"Free" is the most important word in this quote. How will we preserve our freedom if we allow the government to regulate in arrogance and ignorance?

Happy Haunts

It's my favorite holiday again and I thought I'd post a few new arrangements and items from last year's sales.

Here's a peak at the new house color. It looks fabulous with Fall colors. You can't see it very well, but there's a happy black crow nestled in the bottom of my wreath.

My house was built in the 40's, so I love vintage decor. I got this in the spring for a steal along with this...

And...

This year instead of skeletons I put black crows on the chandelier.

This happy accident I left alone.

Still adore my skeletons, but they've been placed peaking out like pixies around the house.

Candy anyone?

And the #1 reason to love Halloween? Don't have to dust or collect spider webs! Too bad there's not a holiday celebrating toilet stains and dirty laundry.